9/10/2017 - God, Choices, Evil?

My Social and Cultural Foundations class in graduate school requires that I immerse myself in a different culture than my norm. I have considered many different options for this project but finally decided to visit a local forty bed residential facility in Watts, Oklahoma for mentally ill people. The residents are considered too sick to live by themselves and too healthy to live in a mental hospital. My church visits this facility every Wednesday and provides church transportation on Sunday mornings. On our way to the facility, we passed poverty stricken homes along with a strip club called the Loose Caboose.  A girl riding with me talked about preparing to minister to the women at the strip club. Two of the people in my car had their own sad family stories, and I was deeply moved by all of their efforts to go out and minister to others that were down and out. 

During our visit, we engaged in conversations with anyone that wanted to talk, or we initiated conversations with them. I mainly spoke with a woman named Stacy. She is 46 years old and seems from first appearance to be unhealthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. I first talked and prayed with her with our community pastor then I went back later and talked to her on my own. She was complaining about things hurting on her body. She sat slumped on the couch with a huge gash in her right knuckle. She said it was from puling her ring off of her finger. When I first saw her bloody knuckle, I was wondering why she did not have a bandaid or some medicine. Later on, several of us asked the facility workers for a bandaid.  I had to apply the bandaid because she seemed incapable of doing it herself. Stacy showed signs of schizophrenic behavior along with possible substance addictions. Her teeth showed signs of substance abuse along with her sickly appearance. She wore two hats on her head and did not wear shoes. Her clothes were big sweatpants and and a dirty shirt. She smiled when we spoke with her and complemented my teeth and my appearance. I tried to find common ground such as our age, birthdays, music, and hair. She seemed to enjoy my conversation but her continued monologue which I could hardly hear kept our dialogue from being meaningful and 

Going to this residential facility, conjured up thoughts about God, evil, and human choices. I knew before I entered this residential facility that I would not like many things about what I was going to experience. I hated some of the smells and the uncleanliness of the people and the environment. As I watched the facility workers dispense daily medicine to the residents, I wondered if the medicine was a cognitive poison. My community pastor introduced me to Kim who has worked at the facility since it started 35 years ago. I was amazed at her resilience and smile even though she worked in a place where there seemed to be very little behavioral and physical improvement. Our weekly presence was hopefully creating a disturbance in the daily sadness of a forever mentally ill state. I just thought to myself that I would hate to work her. I think I would be mentally ill if I worked here. 

After leaving, we spoke of our experience with the residents trying to place a positive spin on our presence in their lives. One of the residents stated at the end of bible study time, that their had been changes happening since we had been coming to visit. I really hoped so. Sometimes when you are praying with them, you wonder if they are really hearing the prayers or they are enjoying the attention. Either one I guess is positive. 

Big Girl Panties

Well, Im posting again.  About one every 6 months.  Got to get better at this.  My thoughts today are about suffering in this world.  My question today is suffering caused by our bad attitude, our lack of motivation, or our lack of understanding about our circumstances.  Today I listened to one of the employees at PHTS talk about how she was going to cancel her short term disability insurance because it was not doing anything. She had been in a car accident caused by another.  Well, when I researched her situation more from those who know more about insurance.  I found out first of all that she had not filed a claim and she had not been out of work long enough to file a claim.  However, she was mad at the insurance because it did not pay anything when she was out.   How do we get so confused and mad when we have not followed through to make things happen or our attitude blocks our understanding to make a difference?  Her understanding of her situation was blocked by her lack of knowledge.  The insurance could only help when she followed its rules.

Maybe I just think sometimes that you would not have to suffer if you would just put your big girl panties on and wise up.  However, I realized today from another employee that some people don't have the same big girl panties.  One person's panties have been fashioned by their experience and the other person's panties have been designed by their experience - family wounds, generational curses, and their own sin.  But today this employee did choose life and I'm very proud of her.  In the moment of discouragement, suffering, and sadness.  She chose to not let her circumstance, her suffering control her life and she kept walking forward into life.  I'm very proud of her.  Her big girl panties just got stronger.

Working at a Thrift Store/39 Couchs and a Tshirt - PHTS 1

Potter's House Thrift Store opened June 2009 in Fayetteville Arkansas. We began this adventure because 1) Alex needed a job, 2) It was a way to make money for a non-profit, and 3) I guess I needed a job. Anyway, I volunteered at the store for about a year before I was hired part-time (3 days a week). Then in July 2010, I was hired full time. Coming from 18 years of being at home on my own time clock and not being bothered by the people of the world, this was a definite change. I adjusted ok to the people I worked with but the customers are a different story. Some are ok but some just drive me crazy. I decided to begin writing about the events of the thrift store because some days they are random and funny and some days they are crazy and sad. Some times to help me cope with crazy people, I just say " maybe her husband beat her this morning before she left." Well today was no different. I was up at the register helping Sandra and Megan with the line of people. Sandra centered my attention on a lady that needed help with a friend that had a fire and needed a donation then right behind her was a man that wanted to tell me that he bought an electronic device at the store and when he got it home it did not work so could he get some money off the coat that he was buying today? Okay. My inside gut is saying "are you crazy?" How do I know you bought an electronic device at this store? Do I just take your word for it when many of the people who come in this store steal and lie to us? It is crazy! I told him I could not since he did not have his receipt or his broken item. He said he just did not have alot of money. I told him like most of the people who come in here and I was also thinking to myself the ones who work here to but I did not offer that information. After that event happened, I was telling Austin and he said he had to tell a lady no today that he could not help her figure out if things worked. If she plugged it in and nothing happened, it did not work. He also said that another lady was telling him a lamp did not work. He went and got a light bulb and it worked. Viola! Lamps dont work without light bulbs. It seems as though dumbness settles on the people that come in the store but I am wondering if it is because the prices are so low that stuffitis makes people crazy and so they just don't think and it seems as though they are just idiots. Well, that is my story for today! I am asking God to show me how to love the idiots at the thrift store and thanking him for those that love the idiot in me.

Wisconsin Dells USA Volleyball

Tatum and I are spending 10 days in Wisconsin Dells, WI. Tatum made the Girls Youth Continential Team with USA Volleyball High Performance program. She has tried out for 3 years and finally this year she made one of the teams. So off we go to WI where the championships are being held. Tatum spends 4 days practicing with the girls and now we are spending 5 days in tournament play. They are playing in the Women's Junior International division. Lots of great competition and real life volleyball for Tatum's dreams of playing in college. These girls spend all year playing volleyball. The tall girls have scholarships available for the taking. The tall athletic girls have college coaches knocking at their doors in 7th grade if they are REALLY good; but they REALLY begin watching them play at club tournaments in 9th grade. It is quite a world - this volleyball world. Being tall is the magic ticket for volleyball scholarships. If you are short, you better be athletic, fast, and smart with an SUPER attitude of team spirit, team cooperation, and team leadership. My girls are fighting for this place. They are between 5'7" and 5'8" tall. I wish I had known this in 2005 when we started this journey. They would have started in different positions. However, here we are fighting for our place in the volleyball world because they love it. And just think I started this whole world in our life because I wanted Courtney to exercise. I was tired of trying to make her exercise. So, Courtney at 17 years old is still fighting on the front row and Tatum started on the back row at 14 years old. We spend hours on the road, in hotels, in convention centers, and in gyms all over the country. This is our vacation, our family fun, our bonding, our friends, our family.....volleyball family. We love it...